Delusion
by Pineapple55
Summary: Formerly 'Over Troubled Water.' Modern day. When Inutaisho died, Sesshomaru felt as if he had died right with him. At sixteen, he no longer believes there's any point in life. Now as strange things start happening, he's not sure if it's real or if his mind is just playing a cruel joke.
1. Chapter 1

WARNING (this story will contain the following): homosexual relationships, major OOCness, sex scenes, AU (modern times), uke!Sesshomaru, death, violence, substance abuse, fluff.

_**22 August 2013**_: My original intent was to put Inutaisho and Sesshomaru in a romantic relationship together. However, I think a familial one is better suited for them in this particular story. The slash will be kept between Naraku and Sesshomaru. Sorry to anyone who wanted otherwise.

Dreams will no longer appear in _**this text**_. If anyone gets confused between Sesshomaru's dreams and awakened state, please let me know. Also, pretty minor but Sesshomaru's age is changing from 15 to 16

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Inuyasha or any of the Inuyasha characters. I make no profit from this

* * *

**Delusion**

A lone figure sat in the darkness of a cold bedroom. He was huddled in a corner crying quietly, the occasional whimper escaping his lips. His knees were brought up to his chest and a veil of white hair masked his face and golden eyes. Clutched in one hand was a photo of himself and an older man who resembled him greatly. That man was his father and he had died exactly one year ago.

It was a car accident. The night was late, the area dark, the road narrow. It took just one sharp turn for someone to lose control of their car and slam into another vehicle. The driver named Inutaisho died on impact, the person who hit him died a few hours later in the hospital.

The boy who now cried had been extremely close to his father. With a mother who only drifted occasionally into his life, Inutaisho had been a constant figure. He loved his son dearly and took care of him and gave him a great life. But it all ended in the middle of that dark road. A year later and he missed his father just as much as that first night. The pain hadn't lessened, time hadn't made it more bearable. He was lonely and stuck with an uncaring mother because the only person to truly love him was dead.

The sixteen year old listened carefully when he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. He stopped breathing as they approached his room.

"Sesshomaru?" a woman, Kimi, called out as she knocked on her son's door. "Are you in there?"

He didn't answer and just wished for her to leave him alone. Only now, just a year before he was a legal adult, was she trying to mend things. A large part of him felt it was too late. All he wanted was his father. He needed the man to hug him and tell him things would be okay and make all his pain go away. But no, that would never happen. Never again.

"Dad, please," he whispered. "Please, just come back."

More tears leaked out of his eyes but he bit his lip to keep quiet. He didn't want his mom to hear him.

Kimi knocked once more but left when she received no answer. She knew the boy was in there and that he wouldn't want to talk to anyone on this day. Her old lover was also on her mind and she could only imagine how badly Sesshomaru felt.

The young man crawled over to his bed once his mother vanished and collapsed onto it. He stared at the photo he held. It had been taken on his fifteenth birthday, a couple months before the wreck. He had a huge grin on his face as he stood next to his father, they both looked so happy. Sesshomaru knew he would never smile like that again.

When night came, he quietly crept through the house. It was midnight and Kimi went to bed a couple hours ago. He slipped out the front door, intending to take a long walk. With no one out to disrupt it, he hoped the calm night would soothe him.

A full moon cast its light over him as he walked. Inutaisho used to love the night sky and the mysteriousness held in its massive darkened depths. Now all it reminded the teen of was the infinite amount of pain he felt. Sesshomaru took a deep shaky breath to keep himself from crying then walked a little faster.

...

A couple days later, Sesshomaru ate lunch alone at school. He had to move hours away from his old town to where Kimi lived. The boy made a few friends but he wasn't truly close to any of them. Often times he wanted to spend time alone instead of with the other students. He missed his real friends. They loved him but now he rarely ever saw them. The ones he'd been closest to since grade school were twins named Naraku and Kagura. They visited him a few times throughout the year but it was difficult because of the distance.

The school bell rang and Sesshomaru put away the book he was reading. One more hour before he was free for the day. It didn't matter. He was near the top of his class but he hated school, and he hated being home because it reminded him of the past. None of it mattered much. He'd get through it and survive—even if he already felt dead inside.

...

"How was school today?" Kimi asked her son. It was a little after nine at night and she had just gotten off of work. She found the teen on the couch working on something, most likely homework.

"Alright," he answered with little emotion in his voice. He didn't even glance up from his paper.

She stared at him a few moments before frowning. "Sesshomaru...I know I can't change the past but I am trying. And I know it's not the same but...you know I am, right?"

He finally stopped writing and looked at his mother. "I do and I appreciate it. It's not you, it's just...I miss Dad. And..." He abruptly gathered his things and stood. Tears welled in his eyes and he didn't want the woman to see.

"Sesshomaru? Sesshomaru, sit down."

He shook his head quickly and tried to walk away but Kimi grabbed his shoulder. "Please," he begged, though he wasn't quite sure what he wanted. "I don't want to talk about him right now."

She sighed but let him go. Kimi watched as her son ran up the stairs and into his bedroom. Of course she knew that the boy would always miss Inutaisho but in one year he had made no progress. He couldn't live the rest of his life in this depression but she didn't know how to help him. The young man didn't want her help.

But she understood that. Her son had lived the first fifteen years of his life with only an occasional visit from her. After birthing him, she didn't want much to do with him or her ex. They only would've brought her down, cut into the time she spent drinking and going out with friends. But she was regretful and guilty for what she did to Sesshomaru. She knew she had an addiction. And by the time Inutaisho died, she had already begun seeking help for it. But Sesshomaru was thrust into her custody so quickly and she wasn't sure she was ready. It was one of the hardest things she ever did, but Kimi managed to stay sober.

Some days were harder than others and it was difficult to not just give in. But she couldn't, she was the only parent Sesshomaru had. As much as the boy hated that fact, she was still the only one who could legally take care of him.

...

Upstairs, Sesshomaru buried his face into a pillow. He didn't bother stopping the tears that followed. Life used to be so good, he had never dreaded getting up in the mornings. Part of him yearned to return to that time, when he was actually happy. The other part desired nothing more than to go to sleep and never wake up.

After a long time, the teen dragged himself off the bed to grab a couple items from his backpack. The single window in the room lacked a screen but he opened it anyways. The chilly night air that assaulted him felt good on his pale skin. In his hands was a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Smoking used to be something he detested. But when an acquaintance at his new school offered him one, he decided to take it. Sucking down toxic air was worth the few minutes of peace it granted. Kimi knew, even if she didn't see him do it directly. They never talked about it. When he finished, he changed out of his clothing and slipped into his bed. Maybe tonight he'd be able to get a full night of sleep.

...

Blood. The crimson liquid was everywhere.

Sesshomaru recognized this place, it was the road his father wrecked on. Glancing around, he knew it wasn't a quick death like he'd been told. No, Inutaisho suffered slowly. The boy wasn't sure how he knew that. He also didn't understand why he was there at all. Memory failed him and he couldn't recall any of the events leading up to this moment.

The lack of light made it difficult, but he could make out the pieces of his dad's car. He'd ridden in it countless times. To one side was a rocky hillside. Sesshomaru had always told his dad how much he hated it when the man drove through the mountains at night. The other side was the forest. Thick bushes lined the road before receding into waves of trees. And it was in those bushes that his father's lifeless corpse rested.

His legs began moving on their own towards the greenery. He tried stopping or turning but his body disobeyed. Sesshomaru didn't know what was happening but he was frightened to the core. Then his next thought hit him like a slap to the face.

He was only dreaming.

But if that were true, why did this feel unlike any other? It was too real, it was nothing like the random strangeness of his normal dreams. It didn't matter though, all he concentrated on was waking up. The last thing he wanted to see was Inutaisho's body. But it wasn't working. The bushes were getting closer and he was desperate to escape. He had no control.

"No!" Sesshomaru screamed. "Stop moving! _Stop!_"

Just a few more feet. Golden eyes shut in a final effort.

Sesshomaru's heart nearly stopped when arms wrapped around him. The shock faded into relief, for he was no longer moving. And then a voice spoke and surprise struck him once more.

"It's okay, Sessh. Nothing around us is real..."

The boy's hands clamped around the arms that still embraced him, afraid to turn around. He couldn't understand why his mind tortured him like this.

"D-Dad?" he finally whispered.

"Turn around. Please."

Hesitantly he disentangled himself and faced the other. Tears fell from his eyes as he took in the image in front of him. Standing tall and exactly how Sesshomaru remembered was his father. Inutaisho had a small sad smile on his face. He said nothing but instead crushed his son in a hug. Sesshomaru relaxed in his arms only briefly before trying to push himself away.

"Why is this happening?" the sixteen year old asked distraughtly. "You're dead! Why are you doing this to me?!"

The older man frowned but lead his son away from the side of the road. "Shh, Sessh. Try to calm down."

Sesshomaru was shaking and his eyes were wide. His mind had been in a fragile state before this night. The situation was too much. The father looked as if he were about to say more but he never heard it.

His surroundings quickly faded into black and the teen distantly thought he was dead. But then his eyes snapped open and he sucked in a lungful of air. A moment passed before he realised he was back in his room with someone standing beside his bed.

"Mom?" he said questioningly. His throat felt incredibly scratchy and he wasn't sure why.

"You were screaming," she explained quietly. "I had to see what was wrong."

"Oh..." Embarrassment began creeping in on him.

"Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah. Just a nightmare..."

"Do you want to talk about it?" She had to ask, even if she already knew the answer.

"No. No, I'm fine now." He couldn't delve into detail. She'd think he was mental if he mentioned his 'dream.'

"Alright, let me know if you need anything."

"Okay. Uh, thanks."

They bid each other an awkward good night before she left the room. Sesshomaru couldn't sleep for the rest of the night. The only thing he saw behind closed eyes was the image of his dad with that sad smile. He could feel the lingering warmness of his embrace and hear his deep voice. Things that would've once comforted, now only haunted him as he tried to rest.

But that had been no ordinary dream. He didn't know what his mind was doing and maybe that troubled him the most. A voice whispered he was going crazy. The chance of that was quite likely, he thought. As much as he missed his father, he wished that dream had never happened.


	2. Chapter 2

WARNING (this story will contain the following): homosexual relationships, major OOCness, incest, sex scenes, AU (modern times), uke (submissive) Sesshomaru, death, violence, fluff. This covers all the warnings for now. I will add any new ones as the story progresses

Thanks for the reviews everyone. Now that I have your attention…

Let's continue, shall we?

* * *

Chapter Two

Sesshomaru wasn't able to concentrate in school the next day. That dream was all his tired mind could think about. He was exhausted but he was somewhat afraid to go to sleep tonight. Would he have the same dream again?

After class he met up with one of his friends. She and Sesshomaru walked to the girl's car.

"Alright, here's the three packs you asked for," she said as she handed him the cigarettes.

He put them away in his backpack. "Thanks, Amaya," he told her while pulling out his wallet. "Can you get me more in a few days?"

"Yeah."

He handed her a twenty. "By Friday if you can."

"Alright. Where you heading after this?"

"Just home."

"You want a ride?"

"Sure."

He got in then they took off. When they reached his house, he saw that his mom wasn't there. _I thought her shift ended an hour ago._ He thanked Amaya then walked inside the house. It didn't matter much to Sesshomaru that she wasn't there, he was somewhat glad for it. She would probably try and talk to him about last night. He stopped his thoughts before they went any farther. All he had been thinking about was that dream from last night, he didn't want to anymore.

After going out back for a smoke, Sesshomaru went up to his room to do his homework. In a couple hours he was done and then laid on his bed. He had meant to rest for only a few moments but instead ended up falling asleep.

By the time heavy eyelids opened, every thing was dark. The sun had set an hour ago and the lamp was off. Sesshomaru checked the time, it was a little past seven. While half-asleep and not thinking clearly he took his jeans off and snuggled into his blankets, going back to sleep.

**_He was at home. His real home, the home he shared with his father. Everything was normal…but then he remembered that this couldn't be happening. No, because his father was dead._**

**_"What's going on?" Sesshomaru whispered._**

**_"Sesshomaru, come here."_**

**_The boy's head jerked around to see Inutaisho sitting on the couch. He didn't obey his father, he just stared at him._**

**_"Sessh…come here."_**

**_"No. This isn't real."_**

**_Inutaisho watched as his son's body began to tremble. He stood up and grabbed Sesshomaru's wrist gently. As he sat down he pulled the boy with him and wrapped his arms around him. Sesshomaru made a soft noise and he looked down at him. The boy was crying._**

**_"Don't cry…I don't want you to be sad right now."_**

**_"Why is this happening?"_**

**_It pained him to hear the despair in his son's voice. He tilted his head up so he could look at the young tear-streaked face. "I'll explain that when the time is right. For now just accept that we have this chance. I love you, Sessh. I've missed you so much."_**

**_Those words made Sesshomaru break down completely. He started sobbing and Inutaisho brought his head to his chest. Sesshomaru buried his face in his father's shirt and continued to bawl. After he calmed down a little, he tried speaking. "I-I don't understand…"_**

**_"Don't worry about that for now. I'll explain it to you another time." He absentmindedly began to stroke Sesshomaru's hair._**

**_"…I love you too. This last year has been so difficult." Even if this was just an odd dream, he decided to speak like he was truly talking to his father. Maybe it would help him feel better, for just these few moments he could pretend like the older male was still alive._**

**_"I know, Sessh. I'm sorry for leaving you. I wish so badly that you didn't have to go through any of this pain."_**

**_"D-don't apologize. You didn't ask to be…to be killed. I've been so unhappy."_**

**_It broke Inutaisho's heart to hear that. How he hoped the person that killed him was burning in hell now. "You shouldn't have to go through this. I would do anything to take it all back. Talk to me…tell me what's been going on."_**

**_His father was still embracing him. He rested his head on the bigger man's shoulder. "I don't know. Nothing."_**

**_"How's Kimi been treating you? She hasn't been getting drunk around you, has she?"_**

**_"No, I don't think she's drank at all since the wreck. She tries most of the time, to take care of me I mean. It's just…I know she doesn't love me. If she did than she wouldn't have abandoned me when I was born. She's trying to make up for that now, I guess she feels guilty. Sometimes I wish she didn't though. Sometimes I think it would be easier if she just hated me and ignored me."_**

**_"Maybe you should try to accept some of what she's doing. I know she hasn't been there for you before but you can't do this alone. You still hurt so much, you can't move on doing it by yourself. Things won't be the same and I'm not saying to completely open up to her overnight but…to make things easier for you, accept some of the help she's trying to give you."_**

**_"She doesn't deserve it! She doesn't love me."_**

**_"Then do it for your sake. Do it so _you_ can start to feel better."_**

**_Sesshomaru was silent for a few moments. "Do you really think it will help?"_**

**_"Yeah."_**

**_"Alright," Sesshomaru whispered. "I'll try."_**

**_"Good. Now tell me about something else. How's school been?"_**

**_"I'm getting some of the highest grades out of all the sophomores. I don't have a lot of friends though. They're nice and all but I just don't want to be close to them. I miss everyone back home, especially Kagura and Naraku."_**

**_"Maybe you can convince Kimi to take you out there or let them stay at your house one of these days. You're still talking to them, right?"_**

**_"Yeah, we text and talk over the phone and computer."_**

**_"I can only imagine how much you miss them, especially Naraku. You two almost went out if I remember correctly." Inutaisho chuckled as his son blushed lightly._**

**_"We would have if I hadn't moved so far away." His father already knew that he was gay. He had come out when he was thirteen. The man had accepted him completely and always would no matter what._**

**_"Like I said, try and convince your mom. It would be good for you." He rested his head on top of his son's head. Then a faint scent invaded his senses. "Sessh, you smell like smoke."_**

**_The boy's eyes widened. 'People can't smell in dreams.' He hesitantly pulled his shirt to his face and sniffed at it. He was shocked when he picked up the lingering scent of cigarette smoke. "Th-this isn't a normal dream."_**

**_"No, it's not. But I told you not to worry about that right now, remember? Now why don't you tell me why you smell like cigarettes?"_**

**_'Should I tell the truth?' He figured he would. This was only a dream his fucked up mind conjured. "I was smoking earlier."_**

**_Inutaisho was surprised. Sesshomaru had always hated that kind of stuff. "You smoke? For how long?"_**

**_"Yeah, since the wreck…I needed something…" His arms unconsciously tightened around his father. "You're not mad at me, are you?" He asked that question as if his father was truly talking with him, he forgot for the moment that this was all a dream._**

**_"No, I'm not mad. I wish you would stop but I'm not going to lecture you or anything like that." No, now was not the time to express anger or disappointment._**

**_"I don't do anything else though. Like drugs or something."_**

**_Inutaisho was relieved to at least hear that. "Good. I'm glad to hear that."_**

**_Things were quiet between them for a few minutes. Sesshomaru closed his eyes and enjoyed being in his father's warm arms while Inutaisho ran his fingers through the boy's soft hair. Their time was coming to an end though. Inutaisho could feel the connection breaking, Sesshomaru was waking up._**

**_"Sessh, I'll see you tomorrow night," he whispered quickly. "You're waking up now. I love you."_**

**_Sesshomaru barely had time to process his father's words before everything turned black._**

_Why did I have to wake up?_

Sesshomaru brought his hand up to grab his phone. It was on the nightstand next to the bed and its alarm was what woke him up. He turned the obnoxious sound off then looked at the time. He was surprised when it was six in the morning. Normally he didn't sleep through the night without waking up. He had been unconscious for almost eleven hours. Sitting up he wondered if his mom had come into his room to check on him. She probably did since she was most likely curious about why Sesshomaru wasn't around when she came home from work. The fact that she didn't wake him to say hi or see if he was okay hurt him but he tried to ignore it for the time being. What was bothering him was the dream. He remembered all of it clearly which didn't usually happen for him. Everything had been so strange.

_It was like he was alive._ But no…that was impossible.

Sesshomaru got out of bed to get ready for school. It was like he was in a trance, he was lost inside his own mind for now. If Kimi had seen him she wouldn't have been able to easily get his attention. She would have suspected something and that would be bad. Instead he made it downstairs and into the kitchen without seeing her.

He forced himself to eat. Sesshomaru wasn't that hungry even though he hadn't had any food since yesterday's breakfast. Last night kept playing through his mind. Images of him talking to his father, of him sobbing in his arms, all of it bombarded him until he couldn't take it.

Kimi walked downstairs just in time to see her son run into the bathroom and shut the door. That was followed by the sounds of him throwing up what little he had eaten. After a few minutes he came back into the living room looking pale and tired. She walked up to him and started helping him go to his room. Sesshomaru almost protested but then he remembered the conversation about her last night. He said nothing and let her help him go back to his bedroom. Once he was there she left again to get him a couple of painkillers and something to drink.

He changed into pajamas and got under his blankets. Kimi came back and he swallowed the pills she gave him.

"Do you want anything else?" she asked.

"…No," he told her. "I'm just gonna try and sleep."

"Alright. Call if you need something."

He watched as she left the room then he closed his eyes. The sickness came at him so suddenly. His stomach hurt and so did his head. He was tired and weak but he hoped that proper sleep would fix that. He was almost afraid to sleep. What would he dream about? It didn't matter though because soon his body forced him to drift off.

* * *

**LordOfTheWest:** Ah, well thank you!

**God of Insanity:** It's nice to hear that. I was actually a tad nervous to post this (and that never happens to me). Second chapter's up and no flames…yet!! XD Awesome, together we shall fill the InuT/Sess section with fics! Haha, or at least a couple. And I look forward to your updates as well. ;)

**ResseCullan01:** Thank you, hun. I'm glad you like my stories so much. ^_^

**Sess101:** Hey, dude! I appreciate the review. And yes…I need to work on my other stories. I've been neglecting them in favor of Nar/Sess and InuT/Sess one-shots that I've yet to post (bad Pineapple!). Haha, well I still say go for it and post your stories! I believe in you. =D And if anyone flames you just give me the word and I'll totally bitch them out. XD


	3. Chapter 3

WARNING (this story will contain the following): homosexual relationships, major OOCness, incest, sex scenes, AU (modern times), uke (submissive) Sesshomaru, death, violence, fluff. This covers all the warnings for now. I will add any new ones as the story progresses

I should have warned that there would probably be some slight Naraku/Sess. Don't worry though, this WILL be Inutaisho/Sess

* * *

Chapter Three

"My stomach just started hurting a lot suddenly and then I threw up," Sesshomaru explained. He was talking to Naraku on the phone. They had been texting and as soon as Sesshomaru said that he was sick, the other teen called him.

"And you were completely fine before?" Naraku asked concerned.

"Well…I didn't sleep well the last couple nights so I was really tired. But that's it, I don't see how that would've made me sick."

"I don't know. Are you feeling any better?"

"Not really…I still feel like I'm gonna throw up any minute and my stomach still hurts. I was able to sleep a couple hours before I sent you a text though."

"Hopefully it's nothing serious and you'll get better in a day or two."

"Fuck, I hope." He had been debating this entire time whether or not to tell Naraku about his dreams. If he did he was worried that his friend would think he were crazy or something, that he was obsessing over his father. But he needed to tell someone. Those dreams were freaking him out and he wanted someone to help him. He wouldn't tell Naraku though. If he could trust anyone it would be that dark-haired boy but he didn't want to tell him over the phone. That would be a conversation to have in person. But that probably wouldn't be happening soon. "I really miss you…"

Naraku noticed how his friend's tone became so much sadder. "I miss you too, Sessh. I want to be with you so badly. This weekend is a four-day one for me. Everyone has Monday off and I have Tuesday off. Maybe we could work something out."

"I'll try to convince my mom to let me go and skip school that day after you talk to your parents about it."

"I'll talk to my mom soon but she'll have to tell my dad tonight when he gets off."

"Alright. I just…I really need to see you."

"Baby, I'll beg my parents if I have to. Though I doubt it will come to that, they've always liked you."

"Hehe, _you_ will actually beg for something?"

"Only for you, Sessh."

They talked for a little while longer before hanging up. Sesshomaru hoped so badly that he'd be able to go.

--

"Beg your mom to come because my parents said yes!" Naraku said excitedly into the phone.

The white-haired boy's mood immediately brightened. "They did? I'll ask her right now."

"Call me back as soon as you know. Oh! And tell her that my parents don't mind driving you back home."

"I will. Bye."

"Bye-bye."

He sent a text to his mom telling her to come to his room. When she did she asked what was wrong.

"Nothing's wrong…" he started. "I've been talking to Naraku and I really miss him. It's been so long since I last saw him. His parents already said it was okay so I wanted to know if I could go over to his house this weekend. They said they'd drive me home too. He has a four-day weekend so I wanted to skip school Tuesday…" He looked as his mom and saw her hesitant expression. He then forced himself to tear up so that she would feel bad. If Naraku had been willing to beg then he was willing to do this. "Please, you know he's my best friend. I need to see him, things have been so hard lately."

"I…I guess it's alright. I'll take you out of school a bit early on Friday and drive you up. You'll be better by then?"

"Yeah, I think so. I haven't thrown up since this afternoon."

"Alright. I'll talk to Naraku's mom in a little bit then."

"Okay. Thanks."

"Of course. Do you need anything while I'm here?"

"No. I'm gonna call Naraku then probably go to bed."

"Okay. Good night, Sesshomaru."

"Night."

When she left, he grabbed his phone and called his best friend. "I'll see you on Friday!" Sesshomaru said happily.

"For real? Ah, fuck yeah. What time are you coming?"

"My mom's taking me out of school early. I'll probably be there around three or four."

"Kagura will be way happy when I tell her too."

Suddenly he heard someone else speaking to Naraku but he couldn't make any words out.

"Ugh, I gotta go. That was my mom if you heard."

"Alright."

"Bye, Sessh. You know I love you and I'll see you later."

"See ya, Naraku. I love you too."

For the first time in a long while, Sesshomaru was actually able to go to bed happy.

--

"Alright, I'll sign you out for when your lunch starts," Kimi told her son.

"Okay. Are you giving me a note?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Yeah, here. Your bag is all packed?"

"Mhm, I just put it in the car."

"Okay, you ready to leave for school?"

"Yeah."

"I'll drive you then."

It was finally Friday and Sesshomaru had recovered completely from his sickness. Kimi agreed to drive her son the three hours it took to get to his old hometown. Sesshomaru was excited but also somewhat nervous. This would be the first time he went back to his hometown since his father died.

_Those dreams stopped._ During the last couple nights, Sesshomaru hadn't dreamt about Inutaisho. Or anything really. All he would remember in the morning was feeling warm and safe, like someone was protecting him. They had been stressing him out so he thought he'd be glad when they were gone…it was the opposite. He was sad that he couldn't see and talk to his father anymore, even if it hadn't been real. Sesshomaru was frustrated with all these emotions over these strange dreams. Deciding it didn't matter since he didn't have them anymore, he put it out of his mind and thought about seeing Naraku later on.

Kimi watched as her son got out of the car and walked to class. The six-hour drive to and back would be exhausting but she would do it for Sesshomaru. He seemed even sadder than usual and she hoped that this would make him feel better. The boy already seemed happier. She worried though that he'd fall into a deeper depression once he had to leave Naraku's. She knew they were extremely close friends.

What she didn't know was that they had almost been a couple. Naraku and Sesshomaru would have dated had that tragic car wreck not happened. She didn't know her son had liked the other teen and still harbored some feelings toward him, she didn't even know he was gay. He had kept that hidden from her because he was afraid of what her reaction would be.

Sighing, she went home and prepared herself for a long drive.

--

Sesshomaru was practically running towards the front gate of the school. He was out for the day, now he just had to wait three hours to see his best friend. He walked quickly to his mom's car and got in.

"Now you're sure you have everything you'll need over there?" Kimi said as she drove away.

"Yeah, I made sure last night," Sesshomaru answered. He pulled out his ipod with the intention of listening to music most of the drive there. He could barely contain his excitement.

In a little over three hours, they were pulling off the freeway into the streets of Sesshomaru's true home. Every street, every building brought back memories to the golden-eyed boy. Past the mall, left turn at his old school, a few streets later, and they were there. Naraku and Kagura's house was right in front of him. He had been texting Naraku the whole way there and had just told him they were parked in his driveway. Sesshomaru got out of the car and nearly sprinted to the door. Kimi got out also and grabbed the bag that Sesshomaru had forgotten. The front door opened before the youth even knocked, revealing Naraku and his mom.

Both women watched as their sons hugged tightly. The two boys didn't want to let each other go.

"Hi, Kimi," Naraku's mother said.

"Hi, Sora," she said back.

"Come in, come in."

The teens followed after them. Sora hugged Sesshomaru then talked to Kimi for a little bit. Once they were finished, Kimi said bye to her son and left.

"What are you boys gonna do?" Sora asked.

"Mm, I think we're going to stay in tonight," Naraku replied. "Just to catch up, ya know."

"Alright. Kagura will be excited to see you too, Sesshomaru."

"Where is she?" the boy asked.

"She got detention after school."

"For what?"

"Being late to class so much."

"Oh. When will she be back?"

"Anytime now."

"Come on," Naraku said. "Let's take your stuff up to my room."

Naraku grabbed his bag for him and they went upstairs. He set it down then put his arms around Sesshomaru's waist.

"God, I missed you so fucking much," Sesshomaru told him.

"I missed you too. It's been way too long." Naraku then leaned down a little and pressed his lips to the shorter male's.

Sesshomaru wrapped his arms around his friend's neck and lost himself to the kiss. When he felt a tongue brushing across his lip, he opened his mouth to let the taller male in. Naraku thoroughly explored him before slowly breaking off the kiss. He just held the white-haired boy close to him afterwards.

"Naraku…there's some things I want to talk to you about."

"Like what? Have things been okay?" He started getting worried.

"Well…" He paused to find the right words. When he was about to continue the door downstairs opened.

"Sesshomaru!" they both heard Kagura yell excitedly.

"I'll tell you later," Sesshomaru said to Naraku. "Tonight when we're alone again."

"Alright."

They both left the room. As soon as she saw him, Kagura engulfed Sesshomaru in her arms. The three hung out for the rest of the day and well into the night. They stayed in the moment, not thinking about Tuesday when Sesshomaru would have to go home.

--

"You ready to talk?" Naraku asked.

"Yeah," Sesshomaru told him.

It was four in the morning and the three had just separated. Sesshomaru and Naraku were sharing the dark-haired teen's bed while Kagura slept in her own room.

"What was it about?"

"These…these dreams I had. I didn't have them last night or the night before but they really freaked me out."

"What were the dreams?"

"They were about my dad. But it was weird. They weren't like normal dreams. I remember every detail, it was like he was there in real life. I-I could feel him when he hugged me and I could smell the smoke on my shirt. He could smell it too."

Naraku was shocked but he didn't think Sesshomaru was crazy. He was a firm believer in the afterlife and spirits on earth. His friend was the opposite though and that was part of why Sesshomaru was so freaked. "Maybe your dad's spirit is trying to connect with you. I know you don't believe in that stuff but think about it for a minute. How else would you be able to use your senses in those dreams and why would they be so detailed?"

"I don't know…I know they weren't normal though."

"Did you talk to him?"

"Yes. The first dream, I was at the sight of the wreck. My body was walking on its own towards all these bushes, where his body was. But my dad stopped me before I saw. He hugged me and he was so warm. He told me that everything around us wasn't real. The second time I was at home, not my mom's, mine and his home. He held me while I was crying and we talked about what had happened this past year. I kept saying how that dream wasn't normal and he kept agreeing but he wouldn't tell me what was going on. He said he would when the time was right."

"He probably thought you would be too hysterical, that's why he didn't tell you that night. I'm sure he will eventually."

"But I don't know if I'll see him again. Those were the only two times. But the nights he wasn't there, I didn't dream at all. I just remembered in the morning feeling like someone was protecting me."

"Maybe he was letting you rest and protecting you since you were sick."

"Maybe because I think I got sick from the stress of those dreams. Naraku…do you think it's really him or is my mind just trying to comfort me in some fucked up way?"

"Honestly? I think it's truly him trying to connect to you. I know you don't believe in ghosts and spirit realms and the afterlife but I do and it sounds like he's trying to see you again."

"He's dead…I don't understand how that could really be him."

"Physically…yes, he is gone but that doesn't mean his spirit is. Ask him about it when you see him again."

"_If_ I see him again."

"When, Sessh. No way would Inutaisho only visit you twice."

"…I'm scared."

"Why?"

"Of him. Seeing him, I mean. After a year he suddenly shows up? It doesn't matter if it's real or not. It makes me miss him so much more when I'm awake."

"Would you rather not see him at all?"

"…I do want to see him. B-but in real life. Those dreams feel like they're real but when…when I wake up, I know they're not." A lump formed in his throat as tears came to his eyes. "I'm sorry, Naraku. I shouldn't be crying and all sad, especially when we only have a few days together. I'm so-"

"Shh, it's okay. It's okay for you to be sad, baby. I understand how difficult this must be. Don't feel bad about being upset. I'm at least glad that I can be with you right now instead of you being by yourself."

"I'm glad you're with me too."

They said nothing more. The bigger male lied there rubbing Sesshomaru's back as he buried his face into Naraku's chest to fall asleep.

* * *

**Inu-Ice-Dragon:** Thanks for reviewing! Hopefully I'll keep you interested

**LordOfTheWest:** Ah, yes I've left some things unclear. It'll get explained more as we get further along though

**God of Insanity:** Hehe, yeah whenever someone flames me I'm just like "well, my story may suck to you but at least I have fans and good grammar!" Ah, well update whenever you can. Three of my classes started too, my other ones start in a few weeks. XP But for some reason I always update more when I'm busy. O_o Eh, better for my readers that I'm back in school then. Haha, I hope these two will catch on. Perhaps eventually

**katastrifi:** Thank you for the review!


	4. Chapter 4

WARNING (this story will contain the following): homosexual relationships, major OOCness, incest, sex scenes, AU (modern times), fluff, uke (submissive) Sesshomaru, death, violence, substance abuse. This covers all the warnings for now. I will add any new ones as the story progresses

* * *

Chapter Four

Sesshomaru snuggled more into the warmth. Distantly he thought it was his father but slowly he came to his senses. The warmth was Naraku who was still asleep. The smaller male didn't want to be awake yet. He hadn't seen his father the night before and it disappointed him. He was going to listen to Naraku and question Inutaisho about what was going on. _What if I never see him again?_ What if those dreams never happened again and Sesshomaru didn't see his father? A small cry accidentally escaped Sesshomaru's throat and he bit his lip to stop any more noises.

He knew he wouldn't be able to fall asleep again but he didn't want to get out of bed yet. Draping his arm over his friend he moved nearer to him. Suddenly Naraku turned onto his side and an arm held Sesshomaru close. The white-haired boy looked at his friend but discovered that he was still asleep. He closed his eyes and relaxed with Naraku holding him.

The black-haired teen hadn't been sleeping though. He had woken up when Sesshomaru did but didn't say anything. When Sesshomaru cried out softly, it was obvious the boy was upset so he just held him to comfort him.

--

"I didn't see him," Sesshomaru whispered.

Both teens were awake but still in bed. A couple hours had passed since Sesshomaru woke up the first time.

"He'll visit you again," Naraku told him. "He will. Just give it more time."

The golden-eyed boy said nothing.

"Come on, let's get up."

Naraku started getting out of bed so Sesshomaru did too. They went downstairs where Sora was already awake.

"Morning, guys," the mother said.

They both greeted her and sat on the couch.

"So are you two doing anything today?"

"Yeah," Naraku said. "We just haven't decided what yet…"

"Is Kagura going with you?"

"Yeah. We'll decide what we're gonna do after she wakes up."

--

They chose to go out to lunch and a movie. It would be just the three of them, they'd hang out with more people on Sunday or Monday. The depression that had taken over Sesshomaru's mind was gone for now. While he was with his friends, sadness didn't overwhelm him. He laughed and joked around and had fun, things he hadn't done for a very long time.

After the movie was over, they walked until they were at a park. The three went to the back past a fence then into the deserted grassy hills that lined the area.

"Stop for a minute," Sesshomaru told the siblings.

"Why?" Kagura asked as they did.

Sesshomaru took out his cigarette case and lighter. "Haven't had one since after lunch."

As he opened his case and pulled one out, Kagura watched him.

"Hey, Sessh…can I have one?" she asked casually.

Both boys looked at her.

"No," Naraku immediately told her. He hated the fact that Sesshomaru was slowly killing himself, he didn't want his sister to start too.

"I didn't ask you," she snapped at her brother.

"Nah," the white-haired teen said. "Don't smoke. You'll hate yourself once you start."

"He doesn't even have that many anyways," Naraku told her.

"Yeah, I forgot to grab my packs before I left my house. I only have the ones in my case." Which were only about seven now and considering he averaged almost a pack a day…

"Fine," Kagura grumbled.

After that was over with, the three continued climbing the hills and exploring the area. They got really dirty but it was fun. It was dark when they finally made it home.

"You guys are covered in dirt…where were you?" Sora asked when they walked into the living room.

"Lunch then the movies then the park," Naraku answered.

"Ah, well, did you have fun?"

The three nodded.

"Good. Now go shower and get into some fresh clothes."

"First!" Kagura called as she ran up the stairs.

"Hurry up!" Naraku yelled after her. "You better not use all the hot water!"

The two teens followed up the stairs and went into Naraku's room. Once his sister was finished, the two snuck into the bathroom together. Everyone in the house knew how close the two teens were and that they were almost a couple but Naraku's parents would get angry if they found out that they showered together. They didn't care if they slept in the same bed but they didn't want them naked around each other.

The teens stripped but Naraku pushed his friend against the wall and kissed him. Sesshomaru wrapped his arms around Naraku and kissed back. The raven-haired male placed his hands on Sesshomaru's slim hips and pressed their bodies together. The smaller of the two moaned.

They finally pulled away for air and just stared at each other panting.

Naraku smiled which made the other boy do the same then they both stepped into the shower to get clean.

--

The family ate dinner together that night then sat around the living room to watch a movie. This was the closest that Sesshomaru felt home now. Tomorrow, he and the siblings would go hang out with all their other friends. The white-haired youth looked forward to it.

Naraku and Sesshomaru went to bed that night around eleven. They lied down talking for a while before Sesshomaru finally went to sleep. Today had distracted him from the things he didn't want to really think about and he had drifted off without stressing out about his dreams.

Sesshomaru woke up scared in the middle of the night. It wasn't because of his father though, the teen just had a nightmare. Someone had been after him trying to kill him. The stranger had a knife and some weird mask on. Sesshomaru had been hiding behind a bush but the person found him. Just as he started attacking the boy, he woke up.

He sighed in frustration since he'd probably be up for the next couple of hours. His body wouldn't allow him to rest anymore for now. Careful not to wake his friend, he reached over and grabbed his phone to check the time. Two in the morning.

He didn't want to be awake so he snuggled up against Naraku and tried to fall asleep. It didn't work though. He decided to listen to music until he felt sleepy and finally around 4:30 he drifted off.

--

When Sesshomaru woke up again hours later, he was almost immediately attacked by a body plopping down on him. He grunted and tried to shove Naraku off but he didn't budge.

"Get off me."

"…No."

"Come on," Sesshomaru whined.

"No."

The white-haired boy tried to move again but couldn't. He grinned as he came up with a plan then bit Naraku's neck.

"Ow!" Naraku said as he bolted up.

Sesshomaru laughed. "That couldn't have actually hurt."

"It took me by surprise. You know I don't like my neck being bitten."

"And you know I don't like people crushing me."

"…Touché."

--

Around noon the pair got dressed. They were just going to meet with a bunch of friends at the mall. Sesshomaru was excited, he hadn't seen these people for over a year. By the way Naraku was talking, it sounded like they'd be happy to see him too.

They made it down there early and spotted some people already waiting for them. As soon as they saw the white-haired boy they ran over and mobbed him. Everyone talked and caught up while more friends joined them. Eventually someone suggested they have a party that night. Sesshomaru didn't want to at first but they managed to convince him to go.

"What are we gonna tell your parents?" Sesshomaru asked Naraku.

"We can just say we're spending the night at someone's house."

Sesshomaru didn't like that idea. What if he had a dream with his father while crashing at someone else's place? He would freak out. He texted Naraku that he didn't want to and the reason why since he didn't want to say it out loud.

"We'll just say that we're hanging out at Jackie's house to catch up more," Naraku told him quietly. "We'll have to be home by midnight though."

"Alright. They'll let us go?"

"Yeah, if we both ask."

"Fine then."

--

In the evening, the two teens found themselves at their friend Derek's house. A lot of people were already there.

"Are you going to drink?" Sesshomaru asked while eyeing the shot glasses.

"Might," Naraku replied. "Depends though. Are you?"

"I'm thinking about it." He actually wanted to get drunk but he wouldn't go that far tonight. Before his father died, he had despised alcohol. His mother was a former alcoholic and he had wanted nothing to do with the stuff. But things had changed in the last year. Right now he yearned to lose himself in drunkenness.

Naraku frowned. He worried for his friend. He never used to drink or smoke. Yes, a big part of his substance abuse was because of Inutaisho's death but that still didn't make it okay a year later. His friend was more prone to being an addict because of his mother. He hoped Sesshomaru would stop all this soon. He hated how his best friend was killing himself.

"Maybe we should just lay off tonight," the black-haired male said. "My mom will probably catch us and then we'll both get it."

"Yeah…you're right. But how about just one beer? We can share it."

"Fine. But just one." At least if they shared it then Sesshomaru wouldn't have as much alcohol in his system.

Naraku looked out for his best friend. There was alcohol at the party and probably drugs too so he made sure the white-haired boy stayed away from all that. They still had fun though and Sesshomaru got to spend time with all his old friends. At 11:30 the pair found somebody sober to drive them home.

They walked through the house quietly, unsure if anyone was still awake. They went into Naraku's bedroom and changed out of their clothes.

"Did you have fun?" Naraku asked once the lights were off and they were in bed.

"Yeah," Sesshomaru told him. "I missed everyone."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it."

He rolled onto his side and embraced the boy. Sesshomaru yawned.

"Tired?"

"A little."

"That means a lot then. Go to sleep."

"Eh, fine."

"Night, Sessh."

"Good night."

--

_**His eyes opened. He was on his back in bed and the lights were turned on. Looking around, he realized he wasn't in Naraku's house. This was his father's bedroom.**_

_**"Dad?" he called as he sat up.**_

_**"Right here, Sesshomaru."**_

_**His gaze snapped over to his right where Inutaisho had not been sitting a few moments ago. He stayed silent and just stared at the older male. Finally he spoke.**_

_**"Tell me what's going on," the young boy demanded to know.**_

_**"No hi or anything first…?"**_

_**Sesshomaru quietly stared at his father again before he suddenly threw himself at the bigger man. He wrapped his arms around Inutaisho as they both fell over on the bed.**_

_**"Please," Sesshomaru whispered into his father's neck. "Please, tell me what's going on."**_

_**Inutaisho slowly sat up while still embracing Sesshomaru. "Alright. Promise me though that you won't start freaking out. You can ask me questions and I'll answer them."**_

_**"Okay. I promise."**_

_**"Good. So what do you want to know first?"**_

_**"What's going on?"**_

_**"We're getting a second chance to be together. Why? I'm not sure."**_

_**"Why don't you just appear as some ghost or something then?"**_

_**"Because that's not how it works. Dreams are kind of weird. They don't go by the same set of rules that things on earth do. This is the time when I'm able to connect to you."**_

_**"This can't be real…"**_

_**"It is, Sesshomaru. I know you aren't much of a believer but trust this…"**_

_**"Where have you been? You came those first two nights then stopped for a few and now you're back again."**_

_**"I'm still having difficulty getting used to this. It's hard to control it at first and I can only come to you at certain times."**_

_**"What do you mean? What times?"**_

_**"At night. If you fall asleep during the day or something then I won't be able to see you."**_

_**"Oh…"**_

_**"Anything else?"**_

_**"I had a million other questions but now I forgot them all."**_

_**"Well, just ask if you do remember anything else."**_

_**"I will."**_

_**"Have you mentioned this to anyone?"**_

_**"Yeah, Naraku. He believes that it's your spirit trying to meet with mine instead of me just having fucked up dreams."**_

_**Inutaisho frowned slightly but he knew it would take Sesshomaru time to get used to all of this. "Did you tell him over the phone?"**_

_**"No, I'm at his house right now. I've been there since Friday and I go back home on Tuesday. God…I don't want to go back. These last few days with him and his family are the happiest I've been for so long. But at least I'm having a good time with them for now."**_

_**"What have you been up to since Friday?"**_

_**"Well, the first day we just stayed at his house. Kagura, he, and I hung out together. Then on Saturday the three of us went to lunch and the movies and the park. I don't know, it probably sounds boring but I had a lot of fun. One thing that bothered me though was that Kagura asked me for a cigarette."**_

_**"Did you give her one?"**_

_**"No. I mean, yeah I smoke but it's a horrible habit that she shouldn't start up. Besides I only have a few left. I don't know how I'm going to get through Monday and part of Tuesday. I'll figure that out later though. Oh, and then on Sunday Naraku and I hung out with our old group of friends. Derek threw a party that night so we went to that too." Sesshomaru looked up at his dad. "I wanted to get drunk. Really drunk."**_

_**Inutaisho was shocked. "Did you?"**_

_**"No. Naraku said that we shouldn't so we just shared a beer."**_

_**The older man was scared for his child. So far, things weren't sounding too good for Sesshomaru. He was depressed and a smoker and now a drinker too.**_

_**"I'm glad you didn't…I don't want you to follow in Kimi's footsteps."**_

_**That was what Sesshomaru feared. He knew that he was fucking himself over with everything. The last thing he wanted though was to become an alcoholic or a drug addict. But it was so hard to find a reason to stop. Most days he truly felt like he had nothing to live for so what would be the point?**_

_**"I love you, Sesshomaru."**_

_**The boy gazed into his father's eyes. "I love you too."**_

_**"…You do want me to keep seeing you, right?"**_

_**"Yes. These dreams make me miss you so much more in the morning but I wouldn't give this up. I don't think I could. Real or made up, I love talking to you again. After an entire year of not seeing or hearing you…no, I couldn't give this time up."**_

_**"I'll visit you tomorrow night."**_

_**"Good. Don't leave me again for days at a time. Please."**_

_**"I won't, Sessh. Even though it's only been a short time, I'm getting able to control this more. I won't leave you again, I promise."**_

_**Sesshomaru said nothing more and just buried his face in Inutaisho's neck. The man moved himself and his son to lie down on the bed. He hadn't let go of him during their conversation and he still didn't. Inutaisho was on his back while Sesshomaru was lying mostly on top of him. They hadn't lied this way since Sesshomaru was a small child.**_

_**Sesshomaru felt like he was about to fall asleep which he found strange since he was already in a dream.**_

_**"See you, son. You'll still be with me for a while but you're drifting off."**_

_**"How the fuck am I able to drift off when I'm already asleep?"**_

_**Inutaisho chuckled. "Hell if I know. I love you."**_

_**"I love you too…"**_

_**And then Sesshomaru was out of it. His mind shut down even though he was still in Inutaisho's arms. The man watched his son and stroked his hair wishing it were already tomorrow night.**_

--

Sesshomaru sat up once he awoke. His body felt well rested. He thought of his dream last night and was still suspicious of it. What if this was just his mind tricking him?

_So what?_

Maybe this was his mind playing a joke but did that really matter? He was still able to see and talk to his dad which was something most grieving people didn't have the chance to do. Illusion or not, he'd continue talking to his father like it was real.

He stood up and went into his bag. Pulling out a picture of him and his dad, he simply looked at it. It had been taken at the beach. Naraku and his family were there too just not in that picture. It was a few weeks after he had already turned fourteen. He remembered that day well, it had been so much fun.

With a heavy sigh he put the picture back then left the room to go take a shower.

* * *

Thanks to those of you who reviewed last time! I already have plans for the next chapter so that should be out quicker than this one was. =D


	5. Chapter 5

WARNING (this story will contain the following): homosexual relationships, major OOCness, incest, sex scenes, AU (modern times), fluff, uke (submissive) Sesshomaru, death, violence, substance abuse. This covers all the warnings for now. I will add any new ones as the story progresses

* * *

Chapter Five

"Did you see your dad last night?" Naraku asked.

"Yeah, I did," Sesshomaru told him quietly.

They were sitting outside waiting for one of their friends to pick them up.

"What happened?"

"I asked him what was going on. He answered my questions and told me that we're getting a second chance. He promised to see me tonight."

"You do want to see him, right?"

"Of course. Even if this isn't real, the fact that I can talk to him at all now is amazing."

"I agree. People don't really get a chance like this."

"That's what I was thinking. Even though he's gone and that was…just horrible, I think now I'm kind of lucky since he can visit me. I've never heard of anyone being able to talk to their dead family or friends like they were still alive."

Naraku was going to respond but their friend's car pulled up. The two teens got in and greeted the other people. The crimson-eyed teen was glad that his friend finally seemed to look at what was happening as something positive. Maybe this would help Sesshomaru get out of the depression he had been in for so long.

It was Monday, which meant this was the last full day they'd get to spend together. Tomorrow they would have to leave in the morning to take Sesshomaru back home. Neither teen thought about it. They wanted to enjoy this day, not be upset.

The group of four in the car went over to the driver's house. His name was Kohaku and the other teen in the car was Jaken. They spent a few hours there then someone suggested they go out.

"Where?" Naraku asked. "We already went to the mall yesterday and the movies before that."

"Let's go ice skating," Jaken said.

"Oh god, that's gayer than I am. Okay, let's go."

Everyone took the bus. Kohaku and Jaken both were old enough to drive but Kohaku's mom said she needed the car. The building they arrived at had two rinks, one for hockey players in leagues and school teams then one for the general public. It cost twelve dollars to get in since they didn't have their own skates. A lot more people than usual were there since everyone had school off. It wasn't too crowded though which Sesshomaru was glad for.

"Race you two laps!" Naraku shouted at his best friend as he jumped out onto the ice and sped off.

Sesshomaru quickly followed. Naraku may have gotten a head start but Sesshomaru was faster. He could beat him in ice skating, running, and swimming but Naraku was much stronger than he was. He caught up to his friend and stayed even with him. The first lap passed and they were tied. Sesshomaru finally used all of his speed and zoomed past Naraku. The second lap passed and Sesshomaru won.

"And that was with you cheating!" Sesshomaru laughed.

Naraku pretended to be mad. "Keep laughing at me and I'll spank you when we get home."

Sesshomaru quieted immediately and the other teen smirked. But then the golden-eyed boy yelled "Haha, you fucking loser!" and took off. Naraku chased him determined to embarrass him now. He was unable to catch up though.

"Just wait until later," Naraku panted.

"Yeah, yeah," Sesshomaru said with a grin of victory.

It eventually got late and they had to go home. Sesshomaru had no idea when he would see Kohaku and Jaken again. Both hugged the teen for a long time before finally leaving. Naraku and Sesshomaru had to take a different bus home from them. Once on, Naraku held the boy close to him and stroked his hair since the younger was a little upset. They exchanged only a few words, not needing constant chatter to be comfortable.

When the bus stopped to pick up a few people, Sesshomaru groaned and hid his face in Naraku's neck. Two people he hated had just gotten on. Their names were Hakudoshi and Magatsuhi. The reason Sesshomaru didn't like them was because they mean. They were brutally honest and while the boy usually liked honesty, those two did it just to be jerks to people. He was hoping they wouldn't see him but Naraku whispered that they were walking over to them.

"Sesshomaru!" Hakudoshi exclaimed. "What are you doing here? I thought you moved."

"I did. I'm visiting," Sesshomaru said curtly.

"Yeah, don't you remember?" Magatsuhi asked his friend. "His dad died so he had to go live somewhere else."

Sesshomaru's jaw nearly dropped. How fucking dare they talk about his father's death.

"Oh, yeah!" Hakudoshi said. "So how've you been holding up since he got killed? Car wreck, right? If the rumors at school were true."

Naraku tightened his hold on his friend. "Get the fuck away from us," he growled.

"Damn, what's with the attitude? Is it because of his dad? He _is_ dead, we were just stating facts."

"Say something again and I'll kick your fucking ass."

"Fuck, fine. It's not our fault the man is in the ground though…"

They had already begun walking away but Naraku stood up. He was going to beat them but Sesshomaru grabbed his arm.

"They're not worth it," Sesshomaru mumbled.

"But Sessh-"

"Please, just drop up."

Naraku sat down with a sigh and held Sesshomaru again. The boy's whole attitude was changed now. This wasn't the way he should have spent his last night in town.

They got off the bus and walked home. The only person there though was Kagura. The adults had left a little while ago to run a quick errand. Naraku watched as Sesshomaru slumped on the couch with his head down. Kagura looked at him worriedly.

"Sessh…don't listen to those fuck faces," Naraku said. "They're just a couple of jerks."

Kagura could see the white-haired boy's face better than Naraku could. She grew concerned as a few tears slid down his cheeks.

"Hey, what happened?" she asked him.

Naraku answered for him since he wasn't going to. "Hakudoshi and Magatsuhi. We ran into them and they brought up Inutaisho…" he explained quietly.

Sesshomaru's breathing quickened a bit and he put his forehead in his hands. Naraku sat next to him and hugged him. The boy wrapped his arms tightly around his best friend.

"I fucking hate people," he murmured. "Why are people such assholes? Why…?" He started crying harder. "I want to see my dad…I need him…"

Both siblings heard this but interpreted it different ways. Kagura didn't know about the dreams, she had no idea that Sesshomaru was talking to his father now. But Naraku did. He wouldn't mention anything in front of his sister though. Sesshomaru had only confided in him.

"Kagura," Naraku said. "Can you give us a minute?"

"Yeah, sure," she answered even though she didn't want to be left out. The white-haired teen was her friend too. She stood up though and left the room.

"Sessh," Naraku now said. "You will see him. He'll visit you tonight."

"But why do people have to bring him up like that? What kind of sick joy do they get from it?" It was hard for Sesshomaru to speak through his cries. He didn't even know why he was crying so much. Yes, it was fucked up for them to bring up his father but…the fact was that he was dead. They were just speaking the truth…yet it hurt so much.

Naraku brought him to sit in his lap and rubbed his back softly. He would try to comfort his friend as best he could.

A couple minutes later, the siblings heard someone unlocking the front door. Damn, their parents were home. Kagura came back downstairs. The front door was in the living room, the boys were in the next room over. The sister looked at her brother questioningly and he nodded. Knowing what he meant, she went into the other room to tell their parents what was going on.

"Sesshomaru," Naraku whispered. "Do you want to go upstairs?"

The boy shook his head. He just didn't have the energy right now.

Sora and Takeo walked through the door and found their daughter waiting for them. Then they heard soft sobs.

"Kagura, what's going on?" the mother asked.

"Sesshomaru is upset…" she replied. "He's been crying since they got back."

They immediately headed to the other room.

"Why?"

She just shook her head in response.

The adults saw Sesshomaru on their son's lap. His face was hidden but his body shook softly with each cry. Sora sat down next to them.

"Sesshomaru…hush, baby. It's going to be okay," she told him in a soothing tone. She wanted to know what happened, Sesshomaru was like her second son. She stroked his hair. "You want to tell me what's wrong?"

The boy shook his head.

She then gently took him from her son's lap. His face was tear stained and red. She looked at everyone else in the room. "I want to talk to Sesshomaru alone for a minute."

Naraku stared at her. No way in hell did he want to leave the boy right now.

"Naraku, you can sit in the living room. I just want to talk to him."

Kagura and Takeo went outside into the garage while Naraku reluctantly sat in the other room. Then she focused back on the golden-eyed boy.

"Come on, tell me what's wrong," Sora said softly. "It's okay, Sessh. It'll be okay."

Sesshomaru broke down and told her. He felt like he could confide in her, like a son would to his mother. "T-there were…these guys. From school. Why do people have to be so mean?"

Sora rubbed circles on his back but stayed quiet for now.

"They brought Dad up. Why'd they do that? I mean, I know he's dead but why'd they have to say it like that?"

The mother wrapped him in her arms. She had guessed it had something to do with Inutaisho.

"I miss him," he cried. He clung onto the woman. She felt like more of a mother than Kimi did.

She hated seeing Sesshomaru like this, it upset her whenever any of her kids were sad. What the fuck kind of people brought up a person's dead parent? She wished she could take away his pain, if only she could bring Inutaisho back. But it was pointless to wish for something that couldn't happen. All Sora could do was comfort Sesshomaru right now.

"I'm sorry…" he mumbled.

"There's absolutely nothing you should be sorry about."

"I shouldn't be acting like this…who knows when I'll see you guys again. I shouldn't be ruining the last night…"

"It's okay for you to be upset. Don't feel bad for this. I wish I could bring your dad back. God, you never should have had to go through that. I know it's not the same, but I love you. Everyone in this house loves you and cares about you and just wants you to be happy."

"…Thank you, Sora." He still held onto her. It still hurt but she was helping him feel better.

"You don't have to thank me for anything, baby. Now I have an idea and I think it would be good for you. Why don't you stay another day? We'll take you back on Wednesday instead. How does that sound?"

Sesshomaru slowly raised his head and wiped at his eyes. He grinned a little. "Heh, you're not sick of me yet?"

She smiled. "Never."

"I don't know if my mom will let me though…"

"What if I called her for you? Do you think she'd say yes then?"

"Probably. Than-"

"You don't have to say it. Are you feeling a little better now?"

"Yes."

"Good. Now you run along with Naraku while I call her, okay?"

"Okay. I think I'm going to go take a shower."

"Alright. I'll tell you what she says when you're done."

She embraced him once more then kissed the top of his head. They parted and she went to grab the phone while Sesshomaru went upstairs. Naraku followed him and once they were in his bedroom they talked.

"Are you really feeling better?" Naraku asked.

The boy nodded. "Did you hear us?"

"Parts. You guys were talking quietly."

"Oh. I love your mom like she was my own mom." He didn't mention that he might be staying until Wednesday. There was a chance that Kimi might say no and make him come back tomorrow. "I want to take a bath. You're welcome to sit in there with me."

"Alright. I'll go start it for you."

The bathtub was filled with hot water a couple minutes later. Both boys went into the bathroom but only Sesshomaru stripped. Naraku sat on the tile next to the tub and watched as he climbed in. They talked for a while, Sesshomaru taking the time to relax. Eventually he sat up and began cleaning himself.

"I'll wash your hair for you," Naraku offered.

"Thanks," Sesshomaru said then turned so his back was to him.

His hair was already soaked so the black-haired boy squeezed shampoo in his hands and worked it into the soft locks. When he was finished, Sesshomaru sunk back into the water to rinse it out. Then Naraku repeated but with conditioner.

"Heh, I'll wash your body too if you want."

"Haha, thanks but I'll do it myself, you ass."

Sesshomaru finished up and got out. While he dried off, Naraku got him a shirt and pajama pants to change into. It was already getting late so the wine-eyed teen changed too. Sesshomaru was a little anxious. What if his mom said he couldn't stay? They walked back down though and the shorter teen looked at Sora.

She smiled at him. "She said you could." She watched as a smile bloomed across his face too.

"You can what?" Naraku asked.

The other male answered him. "Your mom asked me to stay another day and my mom said yes."

"Really?"

"Yep, I'm not going home until Wednesday."

"Yay!" The stronger teen hugged him and lifted him off his feet. After they sat down, Naraku asked where his dad and sister were.

"They're getting something to eat for dinner. They should be back soon actually. I think we're just gonna stay in for the night. Sound okay?" She knew Sesshomaru wouldn't be up for going anywhere anyways.

The teens said yes. The rest of the night was very relaxed and made Sesshomaru feel better. It felt like he had a family once more.

Sesshomaru lied in bed that night looking forward to sleep. He wanted to see his dad so badly right now. The friends talked in the dark, both ecstatic since Sesshomaru was staying longer.

"I think I'm going to tell her," Sesshomaru randomly said.

"Tell who what?" Naraku asked.

"My mom that I'm gay. Maybe about how close you and I actually are too."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Doesn't matter. She won't kick me out. She can't."

"But what if she give you hell for it?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Well…good luck with that."

Sesshomaru looked at him from his position on his back. "Heh, thanks."

"I'm so glad you're staying."

"Me too."

"I wish you could live with us."

"Me too…"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"When you see Inutaisho, tell him I say hi."

Sesshomaru smiled. "I will. Good night, Naraku."

"Good night."

Naraku cradled the younger boy's body close to his own and kissed him softly. A few minutes later they both fell asleep.

--

_**"You brought me to the beach?" Sesshomaru asked.**_

_**"Yeah. You love the beach. I though it'd be nice," Inutaisho explained.**_

_**The two stood on a small cliff overlooking the water. This had always been one of the boy's favorite spots.**_

_**"It is…" He turned around since Inutaisho was behind him and embraced him.**_

_**"How've you been since last night?"**_

_**He didn't answer at first.**_

_**"Sesshomaru?"**_

_**"I get to stay another day at Naraku's. I'm going back to Mom's on Wednesday instead of tomorrow."**_

_**"That's great. Why'd it change?"**_

_**"I was upset…Sora told me to stay longer."**_

_**"And why were you upset?"**_

_**"Do you remember Hakudoshi and Magatsuhi?"**_

_**"Yes. You hate them."**_

_**"Well, I saw them today. They brought you up, how you were dead and stuff. It made me upset and Sora found me crying in Naraku's lap. She and I talked and then she called Mom for me."**_

_**"Sessh, you can't listen to what those fuckers say."**_

_**"I know that, just like I know you're dead. They were just saying the truth, I don't know why I got so upset…"**_

_**"Well, they still shouldn't have said anything. Those two were always cunts."**_

_**"Heh, yeah…Naraku was ready to kill them. At least after all that I get to stay another day."**_

_**"I'm glad you are. It's good for you." He lightly placed his hand on Sesshomaru's back. "Come on, wanna go for a walk?"**_

_**The boy nodded and started moving. His father followed at his side with his arm around his shoulders. They went down to the sand and walked along the shore. The pair continued talking.**_

_**"Oh, and Naraku says hi," Sesshomaru said with a grin.**_

_**"Tell him hi back. So how's he doing?"**_

_**"Good. He's been helping me out a lot."**_

_**"…Have you two done anything?"**_

_**"What do you mean?"**_

_**"Y'know, like **_**do**_** stuff."**_

_**"Uh…oh. Why the hell are you asking that?"**_

_**"I would've asked a lot sooner if you had hooked up. I'm not dumb, I know you guys sleep in the same bed together and shower together and all those things. Remember when you thought I wasn't home and then I walked into your room?"**_

_**Sesshomaru's face was red with embarrassment. "You should've knocked."**_

_**"How was I supposed to know I'd walk in on that? I didn't know he'd have you on your back."**_

_**"Come on, drop this. We weren't even doing much. Just kissing."**_

_**"Once again, I'm not dumb. Don't think I didn't notice his hands down your pants."**_

_**"No, they weren't."**_

_**"Yes, they were."**_

_**"Okay, fine, they were. But drop it anyways."**_

_**"Alright, alright. After you answer my first question."**_

_**"No, we haven't done anything," Sesshomaru bit out.**_

_**"Wow. Really?"**_

_**"Yeah. I mean, he's…never mind. We haven't done anything like what you're thinking."**_

_**"That's funny, you thinking that you can just say never mind and be done with it."**_

_**"Why do you want to know?"**_

_**"I want to know what my son's up to. I always have, it shouldn't be surprising."**_

_**"He just touches me sometimes, okay?" he said quickly. " Jeez…"**_

_**"Okay." Inutaisho was surprised that they hadn't gone further yet. Even though they didn't see each other very often, he thought the two would have had sex by now. And with the way Sesshomaru was, he knew his son wasn't lying to him. He looked over at the pouting boy. "Stop pretending you're mad at me."**_

_**"I'm not pretending. I am mad."**_

_**Inutaisho grinned. "Nah, I think you're pretending." He then ruffled Sesshomaru's hair and made it wild looking. The man laughed.**_

_**Sesshomaru punched him in the arm then fixed his hair. His father lightly pushed him back.**_

_**"Am I going to see you tomorrow night?"**_

_**"Yes, I promise I'll come."**_

_**"Good. I love you."**_

_**"I love you too. Now…race you to those rocks."**_

_**"You're on. Ready, set…go!"**_

_**The two took off running. Even though Sesshomaru was fast, his father was faster. The man made it to the rocks first.**_

_**"I'll…outrun you…someday," Sesshomaru panted.**_

_**Inutaisho noticed that the boy was breathing a lot harder than he should have been. His lungs were already going bad. "Hm, perhaps a day far into the future."**_

_**Sesshomaru stuck his tongue out at him. He felt great. Everything felt normal, like his life before the wreck, and it made him happy.**_

* * *

Thanks to **LordOfTheWest**, **God of Insanity**, and **GodsLilBookWorm** for reviewing! I love regular reviewers!

To my other readers, don't be too shy to review. I enjoy reading your comments. =D

By the way…I have a few one-shots I'm working on. Mostly Naraku/Sess, hope to have at least one or two out soon. Bye-bye for now!


	6. Chapter 6

WARNING (this story will contain the following): homosexual relationships, major OOCness, incest, sex scenes, AU (modern times), fluff, uke (submissive) Sesshomaru, death, violence, substance abuse. This covers all the warnings for now. I will add any new ones as the story progresses

For this chapter Sesshomaru's dreams with Inutaisho aren't going to look like _**this.**_ As I was rereading previous chapters, I realized how much _**text like this for multiple paragraphs**_ annoys me. So yeah, sorry for that.

* * *

Chapter Six

Sesshomaru woke up happy. His father had spent a long time with him. Now he had the entire day to spend with his best friend. He curled his arm around Naraku and watched as the black-haired teen opened his eyes.

"Hey," Naraku said sleepily. "How'd you sleep?"

"Good," Sesshomaru replied. "I saw my dad."

"Good. Did you have a long visit?"

"Yeah. It felt like most of the night."

A few minutes later the pair got up and got dressed. The rest of the day went smoothly, nothing like yesterday with Magatsuhi and Hakudoshi. Naraku still worried about his friend no matter how happy he seemed though. He wondered how the boy would act once he was with Kimi again, if she would ruin the small amount of happiness he had gained. He didn't bring his concerns up though, that was no way to spend their last full day together. That night the whole family went out. They went to dinner and a movie, simple family time that Sesshomaru wouldn't get at home.

Sadness began to take over for the white-haired teenager. He wished so badly he could just stay with Naraku and his family permanently. By the time they went to bed, Sesshomaru was feeling bad again. He hid it as best he could. There was no point in bringing negativity into their last night.

"Are you okay?" Naraku asked. He was changing out of his t-shirt and jeans while Sesshomaru sat on the bed.

"Yeah," Sesshomaru lied. "Why?"

"Just making sure."

"Well, it sucks that I have to leave tomorrow but...I'm glad I got to come."

"I'm glad too. I'm going to miss you."

"I'll miss you too, so much.

"Let's try really hard to see each other again soon. Okay? And if you need me, call and I'll walk there if I have to."

"Thanks, Naraku..."

"And remember to cherish the time you have with your dad. It's real and not everyone gets that."

He nodded. The older teen sat next to him and hugged him. Sesshomaru wrapped his arms around him.

"I don't want to go home. I'll be alone."

"You'll be fine. You're strong. You're not alone. We may live far away but I'll always be with you, your dad is with you. It'll get better, I promise."

Naraku talked to him a little longer before Sesshomaru suddenly felt tired. The bigger teen coaxed him into lying down. Naraku kissed him then held him for the rest of the night.

…

The next morning, Sora found herself in the car with the two young teenagers. Takeo and Kagura said bye to Sesshomaru earlier. The man had to work and Kagura had to go to school. It was selfish but he was somewhat glad that it was just him and his mom with Sesshomaru. He had the teen all to himself that way. They both sat in the back seat together, quietly talking.

Sesshomaru wished the drive was longer but all too soon they were driving through the town his mother lived in. They passed the buildings and houses until his was in view. He gripped Naraku's hand tightly as they pulled into the driveway and anger suddenly filled him. A scowl lit his face as he got out of the car and grabbed his bag. Naraku saw this and stopped him.

"What's wrong?" he asked. Sora stopped to look at them.

"Nothing," Sesshomaru growled. He was glaring at the ground, his bangs covering his eyes.

"Are you mad that you have to come home? Don't be. You won't have to stay here forever."

The woman appeared in front of Sesshomaru and tilted his face up. Golden eyes glistened with unshed tears. She said nothing but embraced him. He clung onto her tightly, just long enough to fight off the tears that wanted to fall.

"Come on, guys," she said. "Let's go." She gently pushed Sesshomaru towards the door.

The boy called out to his mother when they walked in and saw her come from the kitchen. He said hello to her but then he and Naraku went upstairs.

The women watched them go. Sora knew the true reason they wanted to be alone, Kimi just thought it was a simple goodbye between two friends.

As soon as the bedroom door closed, Naraku pushed Sesshomaru onto the bed and climbed on top of him. He pinned the younger male's arms down and kissed him. They didn't pull apart until Kimi called for them. Naraku reluctantly got off of him then helped him up. They went downstairs after making sure they each looked presentable.

"We should get going now, Naraku..." Sora said. She went over to Sesshomaru and hugged him before saying bye.

Naraku frowned then embraced the boy. He didn't want to let go. "Bye, Sessh..."

"See ya, Naraku."

He finally pulled away. "Remember what I told you."

"I will."

They said bye to Kimi and then they were gone. Sesshomaru immediately tried to go to his room but his mother stopped him.

"Aren't you going to tell me how it went?" she asked.

"Alright," he sighed. He followed her to the couch and sat down. "Friday was basically me, Naraku, and Kagura staying home for the night. On Saturday it was us three again, we just went to the movies and then the park. Sunday was when I saw all my other friends so that was fun. They were happy to see me too. Monday we went ice skating with Kohaku and Jaken. Then yesterday, Naraku and I just spent all our time together."

"Sounds like you had a busy weekend."

"Yeah, it was fun. I'm glad I got to go. Say, Mom..."

"What?"

He suddenly thought back to one of the conversations he had with Naraku. He was going to tell Kimi that he was gay. "I'm tired of hiding this so I'm just going to tell you."

Her first thought was that he was a drug addict. "Okay. What is it?"

"I'm gay. And had Dad not died and I didn't have to move, Naraku and I would have gone out."

Her eyes widened. "...Really?" She wasn't sure how to react.

"Yeah."

"Did Inutaisho...?"

"Yeah. I told him a couple years ago. He kinda figured things out between me and Naraku too." He stared at her, waiting for her reaction.

"Oh, well..." She hadn't been expecting that. It was surprising. She never had a problem with gay people, it was none of her business anyways, but Sesshomaru liking men...? Well, no matter what she thought she had to show support. "As long as you're happy then anything is fine."

Hm. Well, that hadn't been quite what he had been waiting for. Not that he wanted her to react badly but still. "Okay. I'm think I'm going to go upstairs."

"Alright." She let him go so she could have time to process this new information. The more she thought about it, the stranger it seemed. She didn't care about other people liking the same sex...but her own son? She tried to push those thoughts away though. Sesshomaru was sad enough as it was, he didn't need a homophobic mom making him worse.

As soon as Sesshomaru made it to his room, he crawled onto his bed and thought about what he admitted. He thought that maybe he would feel better or something, but Sesshomaru didn't really feel anything. The only thing he felt was a yearning to see his father, but that couldn't happen until nightfall. Unfortunately, it was only the afternoon.

He wasn't sure how he passed the time but Sesshomaru was happy when the sun finally went down. He readied himself for bed and closed his eyes. The teen became frustrated when he didn't drift off immediately. His mind was racing with too many thoughts.

"Fuck..." he groaned.

He was slightly unnerved by how much and how fast his moods changed. He had gone from unbearably sad to happy to sad again. And all within a day or two.

"Just one more thing to add to the list..."

Eventually his eyelids grew heavy and he just hoped that he would see Inutaisho that night. He really needed to.

…

Sesshomaru groggily opened his eyes and glanced around. When he discovered he was no longer in his bedroom at Kimi's he bolted up.

"Dad?" he called out.

"I'm right here."

Sesshomaru spun around towards the man standing a short distance behind him. He hugged his father and reveled in the strong arms that embraced him. After a couple of minutes, Inutaisho finally led them to sit down.

"How have you been?" the older male asked.

"...I had to leave Naraku's today," Sesshomaru started. "I hate being back 'home' but that's not what I wanted to tell you. I came out to Kimi..."

"You what?"

"I told her I was gay and that Naraku and I almost dated."

"How did she react?"

He shrugged. "She seemed okay with it."

This worried Inutaisho. He would have wanted his son to wait until he came out to her. Yes, it was hard to stay in the closet but it was also hard to be ostracized by one's own parent. He wasn't going to say anything though. Sesshomaru had already done it, there was no point to make him worry now.

"Well, that's good," he said carefully.

"Yeah, I guess."

"You guess?"

"I wouldn't have cared either way."

"I wouldn't say that...she's trying. I mean, at least she's accepting. I'm glad she didn't say anything negative to you."

He stared at the boy. Sesshomaru's demeanor was completely different from how it was a couple nights ago. He tried to figure it out. He guessed that it was from leaving Naraku and having to go back to Kimi. As much as Inutaisho hated the woman, he didn't want his son to carry that same feeling. It was a bitter, cold sensation that would just leave him feeling hollow. She was all he had in life right now, he had to accept that. Inutaisho would try to encourage him to at least be a little more open around her. She was trying, which had been much more than Inutaisho had expected from someone like her.

The man wanted to regret ever being with the former alcoholic but he couldn't. Without her, Sesshomaru wouldn't exist. At least not as the same person he had grown up as. And despite these rough times, Inutaisho wouldn't want Sesshomaru to change. Perhaps that was somehow selfish of him, but it was true. He had loved, and continued to love, the boy just the way he was. Sesshomaru just had to learn how to move on and live without him, no matter how much it pained both father and son.

* * *

Simply put: to everyone who is still reading this fic, thanks a bunch. To everyone who has lost interest, I understand why.

Things are going to pick up, I just needed to get back into the groove of writing this story...or whatever it is they say. ^_^


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